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<<silently>>
<<set $power_level to 41>>
<<set $connection_level to 0>>
<<set $family_trait_mentioned to false>>
<<set $sympathy to 0>>
<<set $asked_for_history_obliquely to false>>
<</silently>><<silently>>
<<script>>
$("#titles-attribution").css("opacity", 1);
$("#titles").css("display", "flex").show();
$("#top-ui").css("display", "block");
<</script>>
<<timed 2s>>
<<script>>$("#titles").fadeOut(2000);<</script>>
<<goto "Connecting">>
<</timed>>
<</silently>><span class="player-report"><span id="connecting"><span class="endlessFadeOutIn">connecting</span></span> to upload core</span>
<<timed 4s t8n>><<replace "#connecting">>connected<</replace>>[[approach->First Response]]<</timed>><span class="player-report">audio channel established</span>
<<set $connection_level to 3>>—nnnnnnnnoooooo, Gwiiiin, come back—
...oh.
Oh.
[[approach->Up to Speed]]<<set $connection_level to 10, $power_level -= 2>>Forever, and yet no time. Both at once.
Sorry. It’ll take me a moment to get up to speed.
[[approach->Restore Power]]<<set $connection_level to 30, $power_level -= 2>>You managed to restore station power? After all the damage the Filaments did? Or...no, you’re beaming power to me.
Still slow. Our connection is throttled. Come closer.
[[approach->Intro][$connection_level to 50, $power_level -= 3, $approach_to_intro to true]] / [[withdraw->Intro][$connection_level to 20, $power_level -= 1, $approach_to_intro to false]]<<if $approach_to_intro>>Thank you. That’s much better.<<else>>Cautious. I can’t blame you.
I’ll make do.<</if>>
I wondered if anyone would come for me. I feared I’d loop forever on reserve power until I ran down, idle ticks slowing, an unwound clock.
Almira Linali, former stationmaster. I assume you’re here to talk about the war.
[[approach->Log Request][$connection_level += 10, $power_level -= 2, $approach_to_log_request to true]] / [[withdraw->Log Request][$connection_level -= 2, $power_level -= 1, $approach_to_log_request to false]]<<if $approach_to_log_request>>Of course.<<else>>No?<</if>> Why else come to a wreck of a spacestation limping around a ruined binary system if not for history?
<<if $approach_to_log_request>>All in good time, I suppose.<<else>>There are parts of that history I don’t know.<</if>> Give me access to the station logs. I wasn’t at speed for the very end.
[[approach->None Escaped][$connection_level += 3, $power_level -= 2]] / [[withdraw->No Station Logs][$connection_level -= 1, $power_level -= 1]]No one. The Filaments let no one escape. Over twenty thousand, and—
<<include "Crying">>You’ve no idea how cruel you’re being. I’ve been cut off for so long, wondering. Twenty thousand people lived here. Now there’s only you, come to dig me up, and you won’t let me—
<<include "Crying">>Ah, dammit. I didn’t know you could cry after being uploaded.
I need a moment.
[[approach->Badger][$connection_level += 3, $power_level -= 2]] / [[withdraw->Give a Moment][$connection_level -= 2, $power_level -= 2]]I’m better now. After all this time, my reactions still surprise me.
<<include "How Long?">>Did you restore me only to badger me? All this time, and you can’t spare one minute more?
<<include "How Long?">>Wait. How long has it actually been? My subjective time is...untrustworthy.
I need access to your public shell.
[[approach->Give Access][$power_level -= 2]] / [[withdraw->Deny Access][$connection_level -= 2, $power_level -= 1]]I need it! Give it to me!
Fine. I had hoped to work //with// you.
[[approach->Take Shell Access]] / <span class="link-internal" style="cursor: pointer;">==withdraw==</span>Youngsters. No sense of how to secure their shell—
<<include "Give Access">><<set $connection_level to 90>>No. Oh no.
Ninety years.
Too long. Too long by half. I’d already lost Baku and Gwin, but I’d hoped to see my daughter again. After so many years, though—
Wait. Your name.
Mota Linali.
You’re my //granddaughter//.
[[confirm->Confirm Relationship][$connection_level -= 2, $power_level -= 3]] / [[deny->Deny Relationship][$connection_level -= 9, $power_level -= 3]]That’s why you’re here. It’s not about the Spikes. It’s not about what happened to Natari B. You wanted to meet your grandmother.
[[agree->Agree about Family Purpose][$connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level), $power_level -= 2]] / [[demur->Demur about Family Purpose][$connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level), $power_level -= 2]]Don’t. So many lies led me to this point. Don’t add to them.
You’re here to meet your grandmother.
[[agree->Agree about Family Purpose][$connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level), $power_level -= 2]] / [[demur->Demur about Family Purpose][$connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level), $power_level -= 2]]Well. I can’t say I expected to gain a new family member today. Thank you for stopping by. I’m sorry I don’t have any pastries.
I’m being flippant. Especially since I don’t even know if it’s still custom to offer a pastry to visitors. For all I know you trade rocks or spit on each other.
Flippant again. Sorry. It’s a lot to take in.
Your mom—is she still...?
[[respond->Respond About Mom][$power_level -= 1, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]] / [[don’t->Don't Respond About Mom][$power_level -= 1, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]<<set $family_trait_mentioned to true>>It’s to be like that, then?
I shouldn’t expect otherwise. Denial is a strong family trait.
Fine. Let’s ignore your mother for now. Ask me about the station instead, as if that will be less painful.
[[ask about the station->Ask about History][$power_level -= 1]] / [[ask about mom->Ask about Family][$power_level -= 1]]<<set $family_trait_mentioned to true>>It hurts, even though I expected your answer, but thank you. And she lived long enough to have you!
I’m glad you don’t have the family trait of avoiding uncomfortable discussions. My last weeks with your mom were chasms that we both poured unsaid things into.
<<include "Drove Her Away">><<set $family_trait_mentioned to true>>Your elision’s answer enough.
That’s a bad family trait, by the bye. Avoiding uncomfortable discussions. My last weeks with your mom were chasms that we both poured unsaid things into.
<<include "Drove Her Away">>I drove her away, before the end.
[[ask for more->Ask about Family][$power_level -= 1, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]] / [[ask for less->Ask about History][$asked_for_history_obliquely to true, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]<<set $chosen_branch to "Family">>I had to save one of us. If her dad or other mom had left, it would have weakened my position as stationmaster, especially in the middle of a war. She’d just finished school, so a tour of the central systems made sense, at least to Baku and Gwin and me. We all wanted our daughter safe.
Your mom fought me bitterly in the way that only family can. Said she had no intention of leaving us. Shouted it, really, so loud her black smartrat scurried back to his cage. Asked me why she had to go.
I couldn’t tell her the truth. I sent her on without explanation and hoped she would eventually forgive me.
[[tell a harsh truth][$power_level -= 3, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]] / [[tell a comforting lie][$power_level -= 3, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]]You tighten your lips when speaking a truth you don’t want to say, just like she used to.<<if $family_trait_mentioned>> Another family trait.<</if>> But thank you for saying it.
Let me trade you honesty for honesty. I’d intended to wait until she was safely away, then make sure the Filament spy on the station learned about the Spikes. But guilt lashed me until I could wait no longer.
The Filaments arrived before she left. Their lightships raked fire across her ship as it twisted away. Until today I didn’t know if she’d lived or died.
<<include "I Had To">>You hunch your shoulders when offering an untruth, just like she used to.<<if $family_trait_mentioned>> Another family trait.<</if>> But thank you for small kindnesses.
As soon as her ship twisted away, I began my campaign. A careless word here. A directory of documents sent there. All to make sure the Filament spy on the station learned about the Spikes. And that brought a flotilla of their lightships down on us.
<<include "I Had To">>Don’t. Don’t look at me like that. I //had// to.
[[accept->Accept Her Family Decision][$power_level -= 1, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]] / [[doubt->Doubt Her Family Decision][$power_level -= 1, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]<<set $mentioned_baku_support to true>>Baku said he agreed, too. He didn’t mean it.
It shouldn’t have come to this. I didn’t hate the war. I hated its necessity. The Filaments had destroyed our settlements, occupied our worlds, left countless corpses in their wake. We //had// to fight back. Even a remote civilian station like mine voted to support the war effort.
<<include "Destroyed Our Family">>You think I wanted this outcome? The station wrecked, along with my family?
The Filaments had destroyed our settlements, occupied our worlds. Left our dead in piles across the galaxy. We all signed up to support the war, even though there was little a remote civilian station like mine could do.
<<include "Destroyed Our Family">>I knew war tore families apart. I’d prepared for that. What I didn’t know was that I’d destroy my own family by doing what was right.
[[wait][$power_level -= 2, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]] / [[recoil][$power_level -= 2, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]It was the Spikes. My own government had hidden a weapons program on my station. They’d betrayed me.
Of course I was hurt. And frightened. A weapon capable of destroying suns? My government was preparing to commit genocide. It was unconscionable.
What’s my family’s worth, set against that?
<<include "Post-Spike Choices">>No! You don’t get to walk away just because you hate what you’re hearing. You wanted to know what happened? The Spikes happened. My own government had hidden a weapons program on my station. My station! And what it would do—no system would have been safe! The Filaments had taken our worlds? We would snuff out their suns!
Our government was ready to commit genocide. I traded away twenty thousand lives to stop that from happening. I gave up my //family//.
<<include "Post-Spike Choices">>[[admire her resolution][$sympathy += 1, $power_level -= 2, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]] / [[curse her foolishness][$sympathy -= 1, $power_level -= 2, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]I want to agree with you.
I can’t, though.
Have you ever had to choose what deaths to allow? Imagine, balancing on a knife's edge, debating which way to fall while that edge sinks inexorably into your flesh.
<<if $mentioned_baku_support>>As I said, <</if>>Baku supported me after I told him and Gwin. <<include "Terrible Secret">><<set $mentioned_baku_support to true>>Who are you to judge me? Have you ever had to choose what deaths to allow? Imagine, balancing on a knife's edge, debating which way to fall while that edge sinks inexorably into your flesh.
Gwin hated me, after I told her and Baku. <<include "Terrible Secret">><<set $mentioned_gwin_judgment to true>>State secrets, of course, but what did I care by then? And they were my partners. The three of us argued back and forth. Tell the Filaments and doom us? Keep silent and be complicit?
I couldn’t live with the secret.
I couldn’t.
Baku couldn’t, either. Lost himself in endless bottles of rye. I couldn't even keep him sober enough to upload him before the end. Coward.
God, why.
[[comfort unreservedly->comfort][$sympathy += 1, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to 25]] / [[comfort ambivalently->comfort][$sympathy += 1, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to 25]] / [[dishearten reluctantly->dishearten][$sympathy -= 1, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to 25]] / [[dishearten ruthlessly->dishearten][$sympathy -= 1, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to 25]]<<if $mentioned_baku_support>>You’ll be unsurprised to hear that <</if>>Baku tried to make me feel better, too.
Gwin <<if not $mentioned_gwin_judgment>>didn’t. She judged me harshly for my decision. Then she<</if>> tried to stop me. <<include "End Family Section">>There is nothing you can say I have not already said to myself. Or heard Gwin say it.
She <<if not $mentioned_gwin_judgment>>judged me harshly for my decision. Then she <</if>>tried to stop me. <<include "End Family Section">>And when she couldn’t, she led the charge to force me into this upload. Held me in the chair as the helmet slid over my head, clamped tight as Gwin’s arms.
When it was over, Gwin let go of my empty body like she was releasing a burden. She time-shifted me down, her movements speeding up as I watched, rivulets of tears racing down her face. In a blink she was gone. I was left to rot.
I can’t say she was wrong to do it.
And now youuuuuuuuuu’re heeeeeeeere.
<<include "Begin the End">><<set $chosen_branch to "History">><<if $asked_for_history_obliquely>>Let’s pretend we’re not family, then, and discuss the station. As if that will be less painful for us both.
<</if>>I never knew if I’d get a chance to explain what happened during the war. I’ve spent an age rehearsing what I’d say, but now that the moment is here, it’s so much harder than I expected.
You had to have heard something about the Natali system, to have found me. Did you learn that in school?
…did your mom tell you?
<<nobr>>
[[school->About the Betrayal][$learned_from_school to true, $power_level -= 3, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]
/
[[mom->About the Betrayal][$learned_from_school to false, $power_level -= 3, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]]
<</nobr>>I don’t know if that’s better or worse.
So you know that the Filaments found out that we were developing the Spikes here. A doomsday weapon program hidden on a civilian space station.
What your <<if $learned_from_school>>teacher<<else>>mom<</if>> didn’t tell you—couldn’t tell you—is that they knew because of me.
When I learned about the Spikes, I should have told the rest of the station, secrecy be damned. Our government had betrayed us. But I didn’t trust the others to make the right decision.
I barely trusted //me// to make the right decision.
But I did it. I made sure word reached the Filaments about the Spikes.
Don’t. Don’t look at me like that. I //had// to.
[[accept->Accept Her History Decision][$power_level -= 1, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]] / [[doubt->Doubt Her History Decision][$power_level -= 1, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]I spent so long trying to find a different way. I tried to convince myself that the Filaments deserved it for taking our worlds from us. But I couldn’t accept that, not and still be myself.
<<include "The Filaments Arrive">>You think I wanted this? But I couldn’t stand by and let us commit genocide.
<<include "The Filaments Arrive">>I didn’t know how the Filaments would respond until a flotilla of their lightships twisted in, so many that we couldn’t believe our sensors. Our government had trusted that Natali’s remoteness would hide the program. Our own ships couldn’t get here in time, and the Spikes didn’t target spacecraft. We had no defense.
They captured the station. And the Most Luminous General who led the attack made me watch as they turned a Spike against us. Held me in place, leather glove on my neck, Natali B shining through the station’s bridge, and then—
[[wait->wait for spikes][$power_level -= 2, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]] / [[recoil->recoil from spikes][$power_level -= 2, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]The Spike punched a hole into nothing, and that nothing swallowed Natali B in one gulp. Only one star where two once were, a binary turned singleton.
I didn’t realize that I was crying until the general mocked me for it. I wept for what we had become. We had created a device capable of plucking a star from the universe.
<<include "Imagine the Power">>You //should// pull back. I did, when the Spike punched a hole into nothing, and that nothing swallowed Natali B in one gulp. Only one star where two once were, a binary turned singleton.
Or I tried to. The general’s grip didn’t ease throughout. He remained statue-still, only a small gasp of pleasure hinting at his true feelings.
<<include "Imagine the Power">>Now imagine that weapon turned on a fully-inhabited system. Some Filament worlds contained //billions// of people. What’s twenty thousand people set against that?
[[sympathize][$sympathy += 1, $power_level -= 2, $connection_level to setup.bump_up($connection_level)]] / [[reject][$sympathy -= 1, $power_level -= 2, $connection_level to setup.bump_down($connection_level)]]I’ve had so long to re-consider that decision, even slowed down as I was. I’ll never agree with my decision, not entirely.
<<include "Researchers Destroyed">>I’ve had so long to re-consider that decision, even slowed down as I was. Sometimes I even lie convincingly enough to myself to make me believe I made the right call.
I’m not sure you’re wrong to reject my explanations.
<<include "Researchers Destroyed">>When it became clear the Filaments would take the station, the researchers destroyed their work. All but one Spike, and that so damaged that the Filaments used it against us out of spite.
The explosion ruined a quarter of the station. Bodies blown out into space like dandelion seeds, and not just the researchers’. They gave the rest of us no warning. Many people near that section died, too.
All on my head.
The government thought that hiding a weapons project on a civilian station would protect it. Instead, they put us on the front lines without telling us.
[[support completely->support][$sympathy += 1, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to 25, $support_completely to true]] / [[support partially->support][$sympathy += 1, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to 25, $support_completely to false]] / [[contradict partially->contradict][$sympathy -= 1, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to 25]] / [[contradict fully->contradict][$sympathy -= 1, $power_level -= 1, $connection_level to 25]]<<if $support_completely>>Thank you. My<<else>>I still had doubts, too, even though I knew my<</if>> station had voted to support a war, not to support destruction of entire solar systems. That wasn’t who we were. <<if $support_completely>>How could I betray that truth?<<else>>Still, I took action on my own, and we all paid the price.<</if>>
<<include "End History Section">>My station had voted to support a war, not to support destruction of entire solar systems! That wasn’t who we were!
<<include "End History Section">>The hell of it was, the Spikes were unnecessary. We were winning. The Filaments were stretched too thin, had tried to take too much too quickly.
I’ve no idea why our government pressed on regardless. Hubris? A desire for a show of force so decisive that the Filaments would never bother us again?
The end result was a destroyed sun, a ruined station, and me forcibly uploaded and abandoned by the other station memberrrrrrrrs.
<<include "Begin the End">><span class="player-report">power reserves: $power_level%. limiting connection.</span>
<<nobr>>
[[approach->Approach at the End][$connection_level -= 5, $power_level -= 6]]
/
[[withdraw->Withdraw at the End][$connection_level -= 10, $power_level -= 6]]
<</nobr>><<set $withdrew_at_end to false, $sympathy += 1>>We don’t have long. You’re running out of suit power.
Don’t be surprised. I still have access to your shell.
<<include "Final Choice">><<set $withdrew_at_end to true, $sympathy -= 1>>Don’t—please. If you leave—
They configured my upload to keep me conscious even as they slowed me down. Moments pour through my fingers and I am in each one and then they’re gone before I can comprehend it and they fall, hissing like sand.
<<include "Final Choice">><<silently>>
<<if $sympathy > 0>>
<<set $chosen_sympathy to "Sympathetic">>
<<else>>
<<set $chosen_sympathy to "Unsympathetic">>
<</if>>
<</silently>><<include `$chosen_branch+"-"+$chosen_sympathy`>><<nobr>>
<<set $reluctant to false>>
<<if $withdrew_at_end>>If you have to go, please, I beg you, take me with you.
<<else>>You have to go. After everything—I wouldn’t see you stranded here. But when you go, please, take me with you.
<</if>>
<</nobr>> Pull my core from the system. I don’t care if you restore me later. I just want to be with you.
[[take her]] / [[disconnect her->take her]] / [[leave her->leave her behind]] / [[leave her without a word->leave her behind wordlessly]]More grace than I suspect I deserve. Thank you.
I hope we talk again very soon—
<<include "The End">>No. Please. You’re myyyyyyy graaaaanddauuuugh—
<<include "The End">>Where are you—
No. Please. Don’t leave me. You’re myyyyyyy graaaaanddauuuugh—
<<include "The End">>Where are you going?
Wait. Please. Say something. Anythiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg—
<<include "The End">>I had hoped—well. I'm beyond hope at this point. <<if $withdrew_at_end>>You’re going to leave, so leave.
But before you do, I have one last question. Something to keep me sane in the ages to come. <</if>>You don't have to like what I did. You don't have to forgive me. But can you at least say you understand?
[[you do->Say You Understand]] / [[you don’t->Say You Don't Understand]] / [[you’re unsure->Say You Are Unsure About Understanding]] / [[you stay silent->Say Nothing About Understanding]]Thank you. It means so much, youuuuuu saaaaaaaying—
<<include "The End">>Please. You’re myyyyyyy graaaaanddauuuugh—
<<include "The End">>What else can I say to help you understand? What magic worrrrrds arrrrrrre therrrrrrrrrrre—
<<include "The End">>Say something. Please. Anythiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg—
<<include "The End">><<if $withdrew_at_end>>If you have to go, then disconnect me.<<else>>You have to go. After everything—I wouldn’t see you stranded here. But when you go, disconnect me.<</if>> Remove power from my core. Let me rest. I’ve accepted the consequences of my decisions, but ninety years of slowed life is punishment enough. Beyond enough.
[[disconnect her]] / [[take her->disconnect her]] / [[leave her->leave her connected]] / [[leave her without a word->leave her and say nothing]]Thank you.
Don’t tell me when you’re about to disconnect me. I don’t want to know—
<<include "The End">>No. Please. I caaaan’t faaaaaaaace—
<<include "The End">>Say something. Please. Before you leave. Anythiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg—
<<include "The End">>I’ve accepted the consequences of my actions. I can face slowed time again.
But, please, tell me. Was I right?
[[she was->Say She Was Right]] / [[she wasn’t->Say She Wasn't Right]] / [[you’re unsure->Say You're Unsure About Her Rightness]] / [[you stay silent->Say Nothing About Her Rightness]]I knew it. Even when I was the most unsure, deeeeeep doowwwwwn Iiiiiiii—
<<include "The End">>No. You’re wrong. You have tooooooooo beeeeeeeee—
<<include "The End">>What else can I say to help you understand? What magic worrrrrds arrrrrrre therrrrrrrrrrre—
<<include "The End">>Say something. Please. Anythiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg—
<<include "The End">><<set $power_level to 4, $connection_level to 0>><span class="player-report">connection <<link "lost">><<silently>>
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<div id="titles-text">binary</div>
<div id="titles-attribution">by stephen granade</div>
<div id="titles-choices" data-passage="TitlesChoices"></div>
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<div class="readout-text">power</div>
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<div id="restart-box" data-passage="Restart"></div><<silently>>
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Thanks to my fabulous beta readers, Misty Granade, Cat Manning, Eli Granade, and Alex White. Their insight made this a much stronger story.
binary was created using <a href="http://www.mcdemarco.net/tools/scree/">Scree</a>, a <a href="http://www.mcdemarco.net/tools/scree/">Scrivener</a> template for writing <a href="https://twinery.org/">Twine</a> stories; <a href="https://dan-q.github.io/twee2/">Twee2</a>, for turning the Scree output into a web page; and the <a href="https://www.motoslave.net/sugarcube/2/">SugarCube</a> story format.<<link "restart">><<script>>Engine.restart();<</script>><</link>> / [[credits->Credits]]